Obscure Ways I’ve Taken To, To Kill My Time

    1. Watching Boiler Room sets long enough to pretend that I don’t live in Bombay
    2. Downloading and using trial versions of paid apps
    3. Obsessively cleaning any surfaces that reflect light
    4. Logging onto Pornhub more out of technical interest than any sexual interest
    5. Taking walks around the neighbourhood to run imaginary errands
    6. Fruitlessly stalking my ex on social media while being aware that he’s blocked me on all platforms
    7. Carrying out a six-step skincare routine every morning that gives me the vague impression that I have my life in order
    8. Lying down very still and pretending that I’m not alive until the phone rings
    9. Staying up at night to listen to the tree rattling to the storm outside my window
    10. Avoiding said phone calls but immediately texting: sorry, missed your call. is everything okay?